The Drama Queen

She's had it (again)! What further indignities must she suffer under my (lack of) care? What kind of owner am I, anyways? I leave her out in the RAIN, now the SNOW!! She has to deal with GRAVEL ROADS and DUST all over her sleek body with every trip! And the animals!!! She has had turkeys roosting on her and horses pushing her over! Aaaaaaaaaaack!

This is a photo of the Drama Queen (as dubbed by my mechanic, Kevin) the weekend I picked her up from Columbus, OH (October 2006). She's a 2004 Suzuki GS500F. This was the first year the GS500s had a fairing thrown over what was a "standard" body to make them "sportier." The earlier models, GS500Es, were naked. The DQ is a brilliant blue with grey and white accents as shown. She did have a dent in the tank and some nicks in her paint and scratches on her exhaust when I purchased her.

I bought the DQ on EBay from a disinterested, well-off Japanese man who owned a nail salon with his girlfriend. They had purchased brand new matching bikes in 2005. His was blue, hers was yellow. They rarely rode them, preferring instead to drive their cages (a term used by motorcyclists). Hers had already sold prior to my bid on the DQ. The DQ had only seen 303 pampered miles.

I looked into finding a bike near me or near my family in Indiana. Columbus isn't too far from Indy, so it wasn't a huge deal to take an afternoon to venture into Ohio and load the cargo into the back of my little blue Ranger. My younger cousin Tony came with me, eager to examine my exciting investment. Yes, the DQ was an investment for me. I wanted a more efficient commuter vehicle for my 40 mile trip to work. The Ranger wasn't horrible on gas, but the expenses added up quickly.

My twin nephews, Matthew (back) and Gregory, checking out the new bike while it was still on the back of my truck.

The DQ has definitely paid for herself and then some since I brought her home on a warm October day. I've added over 21,000 miles to her odometer. We've traveled through grass, over dirt and sand, and barreled down the gravel road that fronts my yard countless times, as well as covering thousands of miles on more traditional surfaces. The first winter with her I didn't have my equine companions as of yet. She rested peacefully alone in the chilly garage, dreaming of warm spring days and miles of pavement under her tires.

My youngest nephew, Benjamin, takes his turn on the DQ

Kevin helped me maintain my bike... well, mechanically at least. When she needed new tires, he ordered them for me and put them on her petite frame. Oil and filter change? No problem, right on schedule at 4000 miles (as per his recommendation). Kevin's wife used to own one of the GS500Es, and so he owned the repair manual for that particular model. Obviously there were a few differences between the bike with the fairing and the older, naked style, but none were monumental.

My sister, Sarah, and baby Sammie

The first sign of her true personality and the issues to come was a slight sputter and lack of responsiveness to application of the gas late summer 2007. I'd twist the throttle as far as it would go, and she would protest and argue instead of smoothly accelerating. Driving home from work one night, I directed her onto the exit ramp for home and she choked. She cut out power completely. I frowned and guided her to the edge of the road to stop and check the gas tank (my bike doesn't have a fuel gauge). Plenty of fuel available. I managed to coax her back to life long enough to reach my house. Oh, Kevin!!

Kevin picked her up in his truck and lugged her back to his house to figure out her issue. It was a carburetor problem. Unfortunately, his quick fix didn't work and I had to return her to him shortly after with the same complaint. The temperatures plunged quickly, and Kevin didn't have time to work on her with all of his other projects. She overwintered in style and comfort with all of the Motorcycle Safety Foundation's beginner course bikes that Kevin was maintaining. I wound up taking her to a local repair shop in the spring because Kevin needed to travel quite a bit for his "real" job. He called the shop for me and received an estimate, then dropped the DQ off for repairs. All was good again until...

Returning from Indiana after an Independence Day trip, the chain rattled and clunked. Back to Kevin's for a diagnosis. She needed a new chain. The dust from living on a gravel road had eaten away at the old one, even with frequent applications of chain lube.

Over the winter she was forced to share her abode with four smelly horses. They pushed her over one day and broke a side mirror, chipping a section of windshield off in the process. Kevin ordered a new mirror and she was once again whole.

This past summer brought about the latest chapter in the ongoing saga of the Drama Queen. Normally I topped off the 5.4 gallon tank every other day. I kept the control lever on "reserve tank" so that the DQ wouldn't grumble and cut out while driving to work when the gas level dropped below the regular tank. Now she protested and lost power after a measly 83 miles on a full tank! After she repeated her performance the next day, I knew it wasn't a fluke. Oh, Keeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiinnnn!!!

Kevin quickly accommodated me, coming to the rescue that very evening. He dismantled the tank and checked out her hoses. He replaced the filters for both regular and reserve tank intakes. The only thing he found was a kink in the air intake hose (or something like that, I'm not a mechanic). That was this fall, and I haven't really been able to test her since then because now her battery is going! Oh, dear, DQ, what next? I didn't want to buy a new battery until the spring, so there she sits on the sidewalk. I had the charger on the battery, but the horses disrupted it. I was unsuccessful in my last attempt to start her. She hasn't moved from her spot for almost two months now, in spite of nice riding weather. I know she's muttering to herself, deciding what she will do in her next tantrum to pay me back for the injustices she has endured at my hands.